I did it.

I turned in my notice at my day job.

I think I'm crazy. In a time when people are blessed to be working, I have decided to stay home with Samuel.

It wasn't an easy decision. I have the best job in the world. I work for a great company. They have never made me feel like Samuel shouldn't be my priority. But when it comes down to it, I was putting that pressure on myself. And we all know that when spread too thin, we aren't good at anything we attempt, and that is what was happening.

Keeping Samuel healthy is a full-time job in itself. Over the past year while I've been working at another job during the day, I've had GREAT help in making sure Samuel's needs are being met. He has the BEST care-giver a mother could ever hope for. Miss Amy (MeMe, as Samuel calls her) is willing to do whatever it takes to keep him at the top of his game. She cooks special meals for him. She steps in and administers albuterol when he needs it. Truly, I couldn't have found a better care-giver for Samuel unless, of course, I cloned myself, and even that is questionable.

But, as the year has gone by, I've found that I terribly miss being with him during the day. I've been praying for God to open a door to make it possible for me to have the best of both worlds: stay with Samuel and do something from home to help financially contribute to our family. Well, it happened. It was an open door. I asked and it worked out. Amazingly. I'm still astonished at how God works sometimes.

And then I started second guessing. Is this the best decision for us? I love my job! Is it really time for me to leave? In this economy... who really leaves their job? What about my co-workers? They are my friends too. What about the adult communication that will vanish from my day? uh-oh. This was going to be a tougher decision than I ever anticipated!

But, last week, I spoke up and made a decision. It's best for Samuel and, honestly and truly, no matter what I want, I have to do what's best for him and his health. And this is the best for him.

December 30 is my last day at my office job. Then I start the most difficult job in the world: stay at home mom. I'll be helping my dear friend Anna with her little (well, younger...he's not little...hee-hee) guy 4 days a week. I am so blessed. I'll go crazy, for sure, but it will be awesome. And in my spare time (ROFL) when I'm not chasing a very active two-year old, potty training, warming bottles and changing tiny diapers, I'll be studying chemistry. It's the last class I have to take before I can enroll in the nursing program. Yes, I'm going back to school too. Lord, help us all.

So, no, I'm not really leaving a job, I'm just changing jobs. And I am so excited about it. It's bittersweet, really.

Again, God help us all.